This is my first blog post.
In the internet world of yoga and wellness there’s a sort of meme that comes up now and again that says something to the effect of "your first blog post/podcast/video will be shit, but you can’t get to your 50th without the first, so get it over with." So, thats what I'm trying to do here. I write a lot, or I use to (I only write some now if I'm being perfectly honest.) I’ve often mused on paper with the intent to share but just never followed though. I have had a running list of blog post ideas for about a year but I’ve never even started a blog. This is because, like so many, I had this nagging feeling of what has come to be known as imposter syndrome. My internal monologue went something like this: "I can't publish writing, because I am not a writer, also because how could someone as terrible at spelling and prone to run on sentences as I am ever be a writer" (pun fully intended).
Well, the short answer is because I said so. Why can't I write until my hands callus and my pens run out of ink? And more importantly, why shouldn't I share my thoughts, my process, my words with whoever wants to hear - or read - them? Writing this out it feels arrogant to put it that way, but I think there is something to be said about the humility of sharing your thoughts in a world where no one has necessarily asked to hear them. That type of vulnerability cannot be overshadowed by any ego confidence I find in a good idea or a well crafted sentence.
Back in February of this year I embarked on the journey that was my 200hr yoga teacher training, on the first night we shared pieces of ourselves with another and then introduced that person to the group. The now friend that I had the pleasure of talking with and introducing shared that she wrote and published her work and was looking to focus on her writing more. The first words out of my mouth when it came time to share her story were “This is Renee, she is a writer." Though she may never have shared this way herself I felt so strongly that she feel the right to own and use this title so I used it for her. Weeks later during our training we got to talking about this exchange and what I’d done in calling her a writer with such confidence before she’d claimed it herself. I reflected to her that I have the same feeling about number of the endeavors I was currently embarking on. Could I call myself a designer when I’m not currently working on projects, could I call myself a yogi before I’d finished my teacher training? To anyone asking these questions of themselves I’d be first to shout from the rooftops of course you can, but for some reason the echo didn’t reach my own ears or my own confidence.
In many areas of life, and in many different ways we find ourselves waiting for opportunity to come from elsewhere- often this really is the only way to find it, but even more often we neglect to do the things we can accomplish on our own because we are so caught up in the waiting game. Writing has been making itself know in my life as one of those things I didn’t have to wait for. No one has to call me an expert on CoWorking, or design, or food for me to write and share my thoughts on them. I need no permission because no one has to read them if they don’t want to. Besides, who knows, maybe I’m still just talking to myself in the great abyss of the internet, but at least this way I may start to hear an echo.
I’ll link Renee's sites below because she most certainly is a writer and she’s been inspiring me to share for a while now.
Comments